An Escape From What?
The limits of living a full and free life online
Hello, Bonito here!💚 My first post of 2024, wow. It feels very necessary for me to get some of this off my chest and sort of set a tone for my writing moving forward. I love social VR! The communities and the work we do here gives me a sense of purpose and belonging. However, I find myself noticing an ever-broadening gap between my life within virtual reality and life without. It will take way more than one post to unpack but for now bear with me as I take the first steps.
My goal for the holidays (a two week vacation mostly spent at my mom's in the countryside) was to write something. Anything.
In the Glitches Discord server, we organize, plan future projects and have a channel with pitches upon pitches of ideas. I thought, surely, with all this free time I could cross one off the list! But between getting COVID, phone calls with friends who are struggling to make ends meet or exhausted by alienating family members, and witnessing an endless stream of horrific images and videos documenting genocide in real time1, my thoughts about VR started to feel so small and maybe even self-indulgent.
I had brought my Quest 2 with me and still planned and attended Christmas events in VRChat while on holiday, really lovely ones. They genuinely helped me get through an otherwise lonely quarantine period (especially Starheart's cozy Christmas concert which took place in Snowpeak Retreat by Rum Ham)2. They also sharpened the dissonance between realities which, surely not aided by fever, had my mind swirling. Every moment of joy and escape I experienced felt tangibly tethered to harm inflicted on another somewhere in the world. There are so many threads to follow once you start looking. I want to be helpful, to do good, to do less harm but there are so many moving parts that I lose my place in all of this and it becomes overwhelming. I'm grateful I don't lean towards nihilism, I am ruthlessly hopeful in the future and the inherent goodness of people – er, most people. But how do we hold these realities together without splitting into two? I'm really not sure.
I was curious if there were Palestinian artists working in virtual reality whom I could experience through and learn from. During the MOR x Tribeca Immersive 2022 exhibit there were a slew of powerful immersive documentaries that left a deep mark on my understanding of the creators' lived experiences. The most memorable for me, as a settler Canadian, was THIS IS NOT A CEREMONY by Ahnahktsipiitaa (Colin Van Loon). It combines 360 video, animation and comedy to transport the viewer to difficult real-world events with interventions over a fire in a more abstract space that feels timeless.3
I wasn't unsuccessful in my search. There is a project titled VRJPalestine which reconstructed Palestinian villages that were destroyed or depopulated during the Arab-Israeli war in 1948 (referred to as the Nakba)4 and Palestine VR which offers 360 video tours that can be accessed on YouTube. The first thing I found, however, was a Reuters article from November 2022 about a new virtual reality café that had just opened in Gaza City. It is a short article that interviewed some of the youth at the café.
It explains, "With opportunities for travel ruled out for most people by years-long border closure imposed by Israel and Egypt, the online realm is an outlet for young people hungry for entertainment and distraction."5 This is great, right? Technology serving as a balm to help people live better lives. But I think it's worth considering, with the sheer number of banned imports and activities imposed by Israel, why was a virtual reality café permitted?6 This technology, however powerful, can only do so much. I can't help but think about the interviewees – what their lives look like now, if they survived, and how so much more of the good things in life have been ripped away. Is the building they are in even still standing? The youth in Gaza deserved to travel, play and explore the world outside of VR.
I’d like us to start asking ourselves: are there balms social VR offers us that we should have IRL? What needs to happen for us to get there?
While being sick and stuck at my mom's, I picked up my crochet hook and made a really cute balaclava.7 I was working from a pattern, which I'm not used to, and learned a new combination of stitches I hadn't tried before. It was after finishing the balaclava that I remembered my mom asking me to fix two hats she had from a dear friend of hers who passed away. The yarn had loosened over time and would just slide off her head. I pulled them out of the closet and began searching for the knot that must exist, somewhere, where the maker had cast off. It took me a full 20 minutes of gently tugging, but once I found it the yarn easily slipped in, over and under itself revealing a familiar set of loops. I could see the design. I understood where it started, where it ended and how it got there because I had just relearned a similar technique. I was able to unravel to the point where it no longer fit, and remake it tighter, with only a slight drop in quality (this lady was REALLY good at crocheting).
My goal for 2024 is to mine the things we have here in social VR that make it great (freedom of movement, bodily autonomy, creative spaces, low cost) and try to unravel/look back/find the root causes of how we lost them in the first place. I'm not the first to say our online life doesn't have to be just an escape from the burden of reality. It could be a spotlight on what's not working and a test run for a better world where we embody different ways of organizing. Still, right now, I have all of this hope and joy and freedom that seems to stop the moment I unplug. I don't want to keep wearing the headset, happy to have whatever escape I'm permitted right up to the moment it's too late.
So let's try our best! And bring the beautiful world we share back to the physical, to everyone, in whatever ways we can.
Bonito💚
My mom really liked the hat by the way ^^
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Finding the right balance of being aware of grim realities in our world and being able to carry that weight while still staying optimistic is something I believe we need more of. Of course I understand the sense of hopelessness and overall pessimistic outlook many have, especially when a series of seemingly unended negative events happens... And I don't blame them for it. But we need hope, we need optimism, it's had and requires a certain sense of bravery to hold onto that. It's honestly something I admire about you, Bonito. So hold onto that, I believe strongly it will help many people around you if it hasn't already.
Great article! I have been thinking a lot recently about how social VR can be used as an escape or a way to disconnect from reality. At the same time I have seen it be an amazing way to connect with other people, share new ideas and get new perspectives. It is also one of my favorite places to get inspired by people's amazing creativity. I think there is a balance to be found and making sure you are using it with intention.
I love your ideas on taking all those great things we get out of social VR and bringing them back into the real world 💚 Its a great way to start bridging the gap between these two worlds